God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
and the Wisdom to know the difference.

How are YOU at dealing with change?  Do you resist it, fight it, become bitter, afraid, resentful, angry?   These are common but not helpful reactions to change which take away our peace and serenity. 

A more healthy reaction to change is to work to embrace it, to “accept it” as the Serenity Prayer states, and find ways to adapt to it. 

First, one might EVALUATE the situation.  Why did the change occur?  From where did the change originate?  How will it affect your life?  And, most importantly, how can you benefit from the change? 

A second step is to ANALYZE your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.  “What am I thinking about this situation?”   “How am I feeling about it?”  “Are my reactions appropriate?” 

Then, adopt a problem-solving approach.   Write out your choices.  Note the consequences of each choice.  Make a decision as to which choice to pick.  Follow through with your decision.  Evaluate the outcome of your decision.    Emphasize successes.  Learn from your mistakes.  Realize your limitations. 

You might also compromise, suggest alternatives.  Develop a positive attitude.  Become action-oriented.  And finally, “accept the things you cannot change.” 

These activities will help you overcome your resentment toward the change, be more productive, move forward, and once again find peace and serenity in your life.

These stats are not meant to frighten you…just to get your attention.  The goal of this blog is to instill some awareness of how you can have an influence in creating a work environment that feels good…and enhances wellness.

First off,  just to get a perspective, according to a poll taken by Paul Bernston of Cornell University, “office politics” was cited as the leading cause of stress at work.  It’s important to be mindful of this as it can creep up in subtle ways.  My policy has been to keep my focus on the tasks at hand (ie. doing a good job) and to steer clear of toxic people and conditions. 

 One way this might show up is when a co-worker makes a habit of coming to you with a problem and expects you to take responsibility for it.  Avoid letting other people’s problems become yours.  A great read, Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff at Work, offers this advice: “If someone throws you the ball, you don’t have to catch it.”  You can limit your contribution instead of taking on the task itself.

Also, ever hear the old adage, “kill ‘em with kindness”?  The best way to quickly interrupt a gossipy comment is to offer a kind word.  ‘Civility in the Workplace’ is a hot topic right now…and rightly so.  When folks are kind and considerate of each other, there’s an atmosphere of trust.  And, working in an atmosphere of trust goes a long way towards feeling good about coming to work everyday!

Here’s some more tips for creating a positive work environment for yourself.
• Set daily goals.  When scheduling your day, assume that something unexpected will come up.   Build in a cushion of time to deal with it.
• Try your best to eliminate interruptions.  Select a time of day when you will return phone calls and e-mails.  Otherwise, let your voicemail take messages.  You can also create an e-mail auto-reply to let folks know their message has been received so they don’t try to contact you repeatedly.
• Delegate routine tasks.
• Work in a well-lit and comfortable area.
• Take a work break every 2 hours away from your work area, if possible.
• If you feel overwhelmed with a project, put it aside for awhile and shift to less demanding work.
• Put something in your work environment or office to remind you of pleasant things and take you out of your frantic mindset; read or listen to something that will either inspire you or bring you peace.
• Use the everyday cues in your environment as reminders to “center” yourself (eg. the telephone ringing, turning on the computer, etc.)
• Let go of control issues.  How much of the pressure you are feeling really comes from outside, and how much is actually from you?
• Last but not least…when you leave work, leave your work behind!  Allow your time off to replenish you.

So, here’s to a happy work environment…and a happier person!

Why do we experience failure with New Year Resolutions? The lack of success can be due to motivation decreasing, old habits returning, and depression beginning. During the gray months of the year, some individuals get the “Winter Blues” also known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Research indicates a cause of SAD is due to a lack of vitamin D found in sun light, which affects the “feel good chemical” of the brain, serotonin. As serotonin decreases, mood may change to sad, grumpy, or lonely. A loss of interest in normal activities, sleep difficulties, and weight gain may also emerge as a result of SAD.  Lack of light and decrease in positive activity perpetuate the feeling of being “blue” ultimately negatively affecting a new start to the New Year. 

However, making a choice to overcome the “winter blues,” creating a detailed time-specific plan, and finding support from others can create an opportunity for a successful new start to the New Year. If you feel you need support with creating or following a plan to overcome the “winter blues”, call Harbor Symmetry Wellness at 419-475-5338. We understand that everyone needs a little help sometime; no matter what time of the year.

Happy New Year!

All in all, I’ve found that this exercise is imperative for ensuring that I get to have a say in creating a better life for myself.  Otherwise, life kind of unfolds by default.  That’s not to deny that “things happen”.  I know that there are many events that are simply out of our control.  But, recognizing that we have the ability to choose our reactions to these events, is what truly GIVES us control!  (Thus, we really do have a say in creating the lives we want!)

In addition to looking back and learning from the past, however, I’ve also found it useful  to “pre-pave” the future.  How do we do that?  By “dreaming about”, imagining, or visualizing scenarios of success, abundance, prosperity, joy, peace, etc. (you name it…)  In other words, you begin to build in your mind what you want your life to look like.  According to many studies in brain science, it appears that when we do this our brains begin to formulate thoughts and behaviors that are aligned with making these “scenarios” come to fruition.  I remember hearing Katie Holmes of Toledo claim in an interview that she “dreamed” that one day she’d be married to Tom Cruise…and look what happened!

It’s really a great thing to do even on a daily basis!  I invite you to try this.  When you wake up each morning, have your first thought be, “What do I want this day to look like?”  Not only do you get to start the day on a positive note, but you also plant suggestions in your mind that will start to play out through your behaviors. 

On a larger scale, I definitely invite you to try “pre-paving” this next wonderful year of 2012.  I invite you to turn this year into one of possibility.  Into the best year ever!

Peace.

Many times, due to our troubled economy and the young person’s lack of direction and goals, the “older than 18” son or daughter remains living in the parent’s home.  In those situations the parent provides a roof over the child’s head, food and perhaps other kinds of assistance due to the “child’s” inability to find a job, get into school, or lack of desire to live independently.  My advice to parents in these circumstances is that while it is good to provide assistance to the adult child, the parents need to have certain requirements of the child.  The adult child needs to help with housework, be looking for a  job, or be in the process of getting admitted to some post high school training.  

For the parent to not have these expectations would enable the child to not have to learn to stand on their own two feet.   Such would not be a service to the child.  Parents won’t be around forever to see to it that the adult child’s needs are taken care of.  For parents to not insist their child take on certain responsibilities, would be crippling for the adult child.  There may be extenuating circumstances where the adult child is a “special needs” child,  where the parents need to continue providing special assistance to the individual.  However, even in those situations, the child needs to be expected to do all that they are capable of toward becoming more independent (e.g, gaining access to treatment, programs, or a group home). 

There may be a divorce and the adult child and the grandchildren need to return home to live with the parents  for a period of time due to inability to support themselves, or due to financial problems that result from the divorce.  In these situations, the parents’ role is to be supportive emotionally, to help provide for physical needs, but to also guide the adult child in finding ways to once again becoming independent. 

Perhaps there is serious illness with the adult child or the adult child’s children.   When adult children have children of their own, they need advice and guidance about how to get through pregnancy, and how to parent.    The adult child may live independently, but need emotional support from their families of origin, when painful circumstances arise.

So, is parenting required after they are 18?   Absolutely!    If you need assistance in how to parent your adult children, don’t hesitate to contact Harbor Symmetry Wellness EAP coaching for help in this area.

Stress relief is usually the first thing folks think of when considering getting a massage.

But, actually it’s also key for anyone trying to achieve a healthier lifestyle!  Clinical studies show that even a single 90-minute session can significantly lower heart rate, cortisol levels and insulin levels…all of which help reduce stress.

There are several forms of massage but the most common form is Swedish massage, during which the massage therapist kneads the muscles throughout the body often using aromatic, essential oils to lubricate and soften the muscles.  Massage therapists are required to complete a rigorous certification and licensing process in their respective State in which they practice.

Other benefits that Massage Therapy provides include the following:

Massage has been shown to help the body enter a relaxing “rest-and-recovery” mode – an effect that lingers long after the massage is over.

• It improves posture by reinforcing healthy and natural movements.
• The pressure created by massage therapy moves blood through congested areas; this causes new blood to flow in, resulting in improved circulation and body function.
• It offers a natural way to stave off high blood pressure.
• It relaxes chronic muscular tension.
• Massage helps keep joints more fluid, making one more flexible and less prone to injury.
• Massage can play an important role in relieving respiratory issues and training the body to relax.
• It helps ease the pressure, pain and frequency of headaches.
• Studies indicate that regular massage can naturally increase the immune system’s cytotoxic capacity (the activity level of the body’s natural “killer cells”).
• It enhances post-operative rehabilitation by helping the body pump more oxygen and nutrients into tissues and vital organs.

 So, for all those who are eligible for WELL-EAP benefits and live/work in the Toledo area, you may want to consider taking advantage of this Pilot Program now being offered through Symmetry Wellness at our Secor Rd, Toledo location, and get yourself a massage!

Well, it may be helpful to first determine what the holidays mean to you and if you even want to celebrate them.  If you do want to celebrate them you may ask yourself what would be enjoyable for me? Just because you have always celebrated a certain way does not mean you cannot begin to explore different holiday activities or even form your own traditions.  My sister in-law decided this year she was not going to attend the large family gathering, as she has been wanting some more intimate time with her immediate family. Although I will miss her I admire the fact she is taking care of herself and trying to form some new traditions. Someone I counseled lost a family member this year, thus plans to keep things very simple, so as to acknowledge the day but not overwhelm him with too much activity. 

I encourage you to allow yourself to find a way to enjoy this holiday season.  Be creative.  If you don’t like making mounds of cookies, which produce mounds of pounds later, either make a healthy alternative or skip the baking all together.  If you enjoy holiday films and books plan a night to enjoy them with family and/or friends.   A friend of mine put together a trivia game about Scrooge, and then challenged his friends to watch the film with him and to figure out the answers.  This was a great twist on a classic film.

In this first blog will speak about Reiki. ( I am a certified  Reiki practitioner, thus I have extensive training in it.)  Reiki is a technique for stress reduction.  During a session, the patient remains clothed and the practitioner’s hands are placed near or lightly touching various parts of the body, including areas around the head, shoulders, stomach, legs and feet.  Most patients/clients report feelings of relaxation, and they often fall asleep during a session.  Sessions can last from ten minutes to more than an hour, depending on available time.

The Reiki Technique was developed in Japan in 1920.  It was brought to the US in 1937 and has gradually gained in popularity.  A study done in 2007 by the National Health Interview Survey indicates that 1.2 million adults and 161,000 children received one or more sessions of energy healing such as Reiki in the previous year.  According to the American Hospital Association, in 2007, 15% or over 800 American hospitals offered Reiki as part of hospital services.

The popularity of Reiki in hospitals has been largely driven by requests from patients and by nurses and doctors who have experienced its value.  They report that Reiki reduces stress, decreases the amount of pain medication required, improves sleep and appetite, and may accelerate the healing process (not proven in the research).  It has also been reported to reduce many of the unwanted side effects of radiation and drugs, including chemotherapy.

The next blog in this series will address Massage Therapy (another modality being offered now as a Pilot Program by Harbor Symmetry Wellness and which is free to our WELL-EAP subscribers).   Look for it next month!

So, what can working mothers do?  According to a recent article in Working Mother entitled “The Choices We Make” we can start by respecting our choices (to work or to stay home) and losing the guilt about it all.   I think we can also get creative with how we manage it all.  I know some adjust their schedules, so they are home more.  Others hire help to do the chores, so their time off is spent with their children.  Some even still swap chores with relatives or friends, so they don’t incur an extra expense, but they get well needed help.  I like this idea.  It appeals to my budget.      

What are your ideas?   Anyone had any success in this arena?

Below are some questions to ask oneself to see if the alcohol or drug use is an issue that needs to be addressed, and may require outside help: 

1. What are the consequences of my drug or alcohol use?  Have I gotten into trouble with the courts because of this?  Has my use increased my arguing at home with family members?  Have I missed out on important family events due to my alcohol or drug use?
2. Have I lost control of my alcohol or drug use?  Have I had more drinks, or used drugs more  than I intended to? 
3. Have I changed drinks or kinds of drugs I use in order to not become intoxicated?
4. Have I switched from hard liquor to beer, or from opiates to pot, thinking that I could still “get high” or “catch the buzz” but not reach the point of intoxication or passing out? 
5.  Have I ever blacked out (lost memory of something or things I did) while under the influence of  alcohol or drugs? 
6.  Have I missed work or been tardy to work due to my alcohol/drug use? 
7.  After I have not drank alcohol or used drugs for a day or two, do I start to feel cravings (intense desire) for the alcohol or drugs? 
8.  Do I envy people who can drink or use drugs without getting into trouble?

If you have answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may want to consult a counselor to take a close look at these issues.    As addiction is a progressive disease, it would be helpful to seek assistance before the alcohol and/or drug-related problems  get worse or increase in number. 

 Feel free to contact your EAP Counselor at Harbor Symmetry Wellness to discuss these or other issues.