Posted by: symmetrywellness | January 17, 2012

Dealing With Change by Janet Raver, PCC, LICDC, EAP Consultant, Harbor Symmetry Wellness

In our present-day world, change is inevitable.  There is change in our work, family, health, circle of friends, residence, finances, and emotional state.  The most difficult change is the change that happens in our lives that we do not choose.   Some of you may be familiar with the helpful Serenity Prayer used in 12-step Support Groups:

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
and the Wisdom to know the difference.

How are YOU at dealing with change?  Do you resist it, fight it, become bitter, afraid, resentful, angry?   These are common but not helpful reactions to change which take away our peace and serenity. 

A more healthy reaction to change is to work to embrace it, to “accept it” as the Serenity Prayer states, and find ways to adapt to it. 

First, one might EVALUATE the situation.  Why did the change occur?  From where did the change originate?  How will it affect your life?  And, most importantly, how can you benefit from the change? 

A second step is to ANALYZE your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.  “What am I thinking about this situation?”   “How am I feeling about it?”  “Are my reactions appropriate?” 

Then, adopt a problem-solving approach.   Write out your choices.  Note the consequences of each choice.  Make a decision as to which choice to pick.  Follow through with your decision.  Evaluate the outcome of your decision.    Emphasize successes.  Learn from your mistakes.  Realize your limitations. 

You might also compromise, suggest alternatives.  Develop a positive attitude.  Become action-oriented.  And finally, “accept the things you cannot change.” 

These activities will help you overcome your resentment toward the change, be more productive, move forward, and once again find peace and serenity in your life.

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